You are driving your car, suddenly the car ahead of you applies break. You as well apply the sudden break and yell at the moron driver ahead of you.
You are working on something very very important. You are concentrating extremely hard. Suddenly your child comes and asks a silly doubt. You get irritated due to disturbance and ask him/her to leave.
You and your best friend just have had an argument, where your friend taunts you on a secret that only you shared with him/her. You reply back with nasty comments.
Sounds familiar? What was going through your mind in all three situations? Anger? Pain ? or Fear?
While most of us would say Anger, but the correct answer is Fear. Yes the very Fear. Most of the emotions have their origin in fear. The exam bell is about to ring, and you havent yet finished your exam paper, you sweat and panic. Basically you fear, you will leave something incomplete and thus have bad consequences. Its fear of insecurity, incompletion. You are driving your car and the driver ahead stops suddenly, you fear accident and get angry. You yell at driver.
Your kid interrupts you, you fear loss of concentration. You fear, you might again have to work hard, and get that level of concentration, you fear losing time, you get irritated.
While arguing with your friend, your friend spills out your secret. He/she hits exactly at the spot where your fear of insecurity or your fear of mistrust resides and you retaliate by doing the same back ie pass nasty comments back to hurt them exactly where u have been hurt.
Anger is nothing but voilent manifestation of fear. Fear not necessarily mean the feeling that makes you shiver or tremble or sweat. Shouting, yelling, aggression, getting voilent are all different forms of experiencing fear. A person with short temper is none but the one who gets pangs of fear at short intervals. He/ she is the most scared or fearful person.
So how does one control temper and manage anger? Well for starters, note the incidents that make you angry. What are they, why did you get angry? Wasnt it your fear? Your fear of losing someone, losing something, fear that some of things wont be alright, fear of things not going your way? Once you realise your fear, you have to fight it when you face the same fear again. Its not easy to fight one's fear, but then one needs to make choice between losing out to the fear or fighting it back to emerge winner. Its a battle which we need to fight on own.
In this fast paced world, where people recklessly run the rat race, there is no time to think before acting. One loses temper as often as meeting of the hands of the clock. Short tempers are the biggest cause of breaking up of relations these days be it with your family, friends or collegues. It takes a minute to break relation that takes years to build. Relations are fragile like glass, and anger gives them those cracks, which though doesnt break the glass but remains as deformity in the glass.
You will live this life but once so why live with fear? Get rid of that fear, and let the things flow. Why get angry often on mundane things? Kick the butt of fear, kick the anger and the temper.
Stay fearless, be brave!!
You are working on something very very important. You are concentrating extremely hard. Suddenly your child comes and asks a silly doubt. You get irritated due to disturbance and ask him/her to leave.
You and your best friend just have had an argument, where your friend taunts you on a secret that only you shared with him/her. You reply back with nasty comments.
Sounds familiar? What was going through your mind in all three situations? Anger? Pain ? or Fear?
While most of us would say Anger, but the correct answer is Fear. Yes the very Fear. Most of the emotions have their origin in fear. The exam bell is about to ring, and you havent yet finished your exam paper, you sweat and panic. Basically you fear, you will leave something incomplete and thus have bad consequences. Its fear of insecurity, incompletion. You are driving your car and the driver ahead stops suddenly, you fear accident and get angry. You yell at driver.
Your kid interrupts you, you fear loss of concentration. You fear, you might again have to work hard, and get that level of concentration, you fear losing time, you get irritated.
While arguing with your friend, your friend spills out your secret. He/she hits exactly at the spot where your fear of insecurity or your fear of mistrust resides and you retaliate by doing the same back ie pass nasty comments back to hurt them exactly where u have been hurt.
Anger is nothing but voilent manifestation of fear. Fear not necessarily mean the feeling that makes you shiver or tremble or sweat. Shouting, yelling, aggression, getting voilent are all different forms of experiencing fear. A person with short temper is none but the one who gets pangs of fear at short intervals. He/ she is the most scared or fearful person.
So how does one control temper and manage anger? Well for starters, note the incidents that make you angry. What are they, why did you get angry? Wasnt it your fear? Your fear of losing someone, losing something, fear that some of things wont be alright, fear of things not going your way? Once you realise your fear, you have to fight it when you face the same fear again. Its not easy to fight one's fear, but then one needs to make choice between losing out to the fear or fighting it back to emerge winner. Its a battle which we need to fight on own.
In this fast paced world, where people recklessly run the rat race, there is no time to think before acting. One loses temper as often as meeting of the hands of the clock. Short tempers are the biggest cause of breaking up of relations these days be it with your family, friends or collegues. It takes a minute to break relation that takes years to build. Relations are fragile like glass, and anger gives them those cracks, which though doesnt break the glass but remains as deformity in the glass.
You will live this life but once so why live with fear? Get rid of that fear, and let the things flow. Why get angry often on mundane things? Kick the butt of fear, kick the anger and the temper.
Stay fearless, be brave!!
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